Early in the morning, I heard about an unexpected, bitter incident related to someone in our extended family. It did not come from that person himself, I heard it from someone else in the family. The incident was not something that we will be eager to share if it happens to us. So, it justifies his not telling me about the same (and also the fact that someone else is so eager to share it). This is something very understandable and in no way remarkable. As, for a long, people have been keenly interested in the affairs of others.
Later in the day, after I had my lunch, I received a call from someone in the family. I was conversing with him for almost 10 minutes but did not speak a single word about that incident. If we consider human nature, this is something remarkable. This made me think and I realised that such an action from my side did happen earlier also. I recalled someone telling me once, “You knew about this? You did not tell me?”
At the same time, I know that I am not reflective of such incidents in other’s life. On many occasions, I have found myself affected emotionally and sometimes quite deeply. But I could not share the news.
What stopped me now, and always?
I prefer to keep it to myself when it’s not business. Even though we are social beings, I always felt, there should be a boundary up to which one can reach into someone else’s life. Sharing of some life incidents is within the prerogative of the person with whom it happened and meddling with them (that might come naturally to any normal being) is shameful. (All “Sherlock Holmes” reading this are already getting restless.)
Life incidents need thoughtful understanding. We tend to forget that human beings are not good or evil, they are good and evil. Qualities diverging to both good and evil reside in all of us. So, we should stop ourselves from spreading bitter incidents about others’ lives when we are also not free from error. It reminds me of a famous dialogue from a Hindi movie “jinke ghar shishe ke hote hain…”
Opinions create opinions. Upon knowing about the incident, I have formed my views (positive or negative) that will surely get conveyed if I do share them with someone else in the family. The views are purely mine and I simply don’t want to spread it (remember it is a negative incident) to others when nobody has reached out to me for my views. Though, not sharing the incident does not mean that it will not be shared. I know, surely, it will get shared with all in the family and they got brains to form their views and choose their action (hope they decide to use it positively). But, for me not sharing the incident, definitely means that I wanted to make the environment within the family better and I was compassionate with that person. I feel good.
I remember reading something written as a footnote in a diary, that I discovered was natural to me (not always does this happen) and so could easily accept and practice. It said, “When we spend time to disgrace others, we disgrace ourselves.”
Today, when I find people engaged in disrespectful discussions about others, socially, most of the time not even taking the pain to check its authenticity, it does not surprise me, it hurts. I am a human. And you are human too. Do think twice before forwarding any message socially.
What do you think?