Early in the morning, I came to know about an unexpected and bitter incident that happened to someone in our extended family. The person did not tell me but I heard from someone in the family. The incident was definitely not something that we will be eager to share if it happens to us. So, it justifies of his not telling me about the same and also the fact that someone else is eager to share it. This is something very understandable and in no way remarkable. As, for long, people have been keenly interested in affairs of others.
Later in the day, after I had my lunch, I received a call from someone in the family. I was conversing with him for almost 10 minutes, but did not speak a single word about that incident. If we consider human nature, this was definitely something remarkable. This made me think and I realised that such an action from my side did happen earlier also. I recalled my wife saying, “You knew about this? You did not tell me?”
At the same time, I know that I am not reflective to such incidents in other’s life. On many occasions I have found myself affected emotionally and sometimes quite deeply. But I could not share the news.
What stopped me now, and always?
I prefer to keep it to myself when it’s not business. Even though we are a social being, I always felt, there should be a boundary up to which one can reach into someone else’s life. Sharing of some life incidents are within the prerogative of the person with whom it happened and meddling with them (to satisfy our nature) is shameful. (Some “Sherlock Holmes” are already getting restless.)
Life incidents need thoughtful understanding. The understanding I have shown to this particular incident may possibly be difficult to receive from some other member of the family when he or she hears about it and can lead to awkward situations for all and I don’t want to risk anyone’s reputation. We tend to forget that human beings are not good or evil, they are good and evil. Qualities diverging to both good and evil resides in all of us.
Opinions create opinions. After, knowing about the incident I have formed my views (may be positive or negative) that will surely get conveyed if I do share it with someone else in the family. The views are purely mine which I simply don’t want to force on others and it’s not my duty anyways when nobody has reached out to me for my views. Though, I not sharing the incident does not mean that it will not be shared. I know, surely, it will get shared to all in the family and they got brains to form their own views and choose their action (hope they decide to use it positively). But, me not sharing the incident, definitely means that I wanted to make the environment within the family better and I was compassionate. I feel good.
I remember reading something written as a footnote in a diary, that I discovered was natural to me (not always does this happen) and so could easily accept and practice. It said, “When we spend time to disgrace others we disgrace ourselves.”
Today, when I find people engaged in disrespectful discussions on others, socially, most of the times not even taking the pain to check its authenticity, it does not surprise me, it hurts. I am human too.
What do you think?